I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
