dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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