I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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