wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
