So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
did i walk over a car last night?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
