your room smells of hookers.
And success
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
