I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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