I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize