Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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