Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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