i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
