Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
