You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
