That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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