his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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