she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize