We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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