that's an acceptable place to lick
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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