Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
