wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
