if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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