...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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