You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
