You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
