1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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