On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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