oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
