hotel room ftw
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
