i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
