so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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