i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
