I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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