Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
