People in love make me want to vomit
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
