upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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