literally had 100 drinks last night.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
