I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
