I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
