I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
