I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
