4 words: hood of his car
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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