Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
