Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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