I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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