I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
