I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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