just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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