I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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