fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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