you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You don't make any sense
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