Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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