You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
