We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
