oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
