was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
