The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would fuck him just for his dog
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
