I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
