How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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