was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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