Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
