Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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