I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
