Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
