need another drink. this is the easiest way
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
