I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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